EQ Audit #4: WHAT IN THE ASSIMILATIONIST HELL IS THIS?!

🔥 This “Queer American” Nonsense is the Most UNqueer Thing Imaginable 🔥

Respectability politics is back, y’all, and this time it’s wearing a name tag that says, "Queer American."

Jeff McMullen wrote an article arguing that we should rebrand the LGBTQ+ community—ditch the messy alphabet soup, unify under one label, and try to appeal to cishet Americans by making ourselves more, I don’t know… palatable? (*Yes, seriously. Read it yourself: Out.com)

If your immediate reaction was "this sounds like assimilationist bullshit"—congrats! You are correct.

So let’s run this through an EQ Audit and drag this weak-ass take accordingly.

🔥 RANT: WHAT IN THE ASSIMILATIONIST HELL IS THIS?!

McMullen’s argument is basically:
💭 “If we just rebrand ourselves as ‘Queer Americans,’ people will finally treat us with respect!”

No. Full Stop.

You really think the same people banning queer books, outlawing drag, and forcing trans people out of public life are suddenly going to hug it out because we changed our name?

You. have. lost. the. plot.

They don’t hate us because of our labels.
They hate us because we exist outside their control.

They hate us because we:
🔥 Take up space.
🔥 Love loudly and unapologetically.
🔥 Refuse to shrink for their comfort.

This isn’t a branding issue. It’s a bigotry issue. And you cannot fix bigotry with a rebrand.

And let’s be real: “Queer American” is giving very much 1950s assimilationist realness. And frankly, FUCK YOU. I identify as queer. Not everyone I know in the gorgeous diversity of our 2SLGBTQIA+ community identifies as queer. Queer has all meaning and no meaning. But right now, queer means I wanna break my heel off in your assimilationist ass! (but not for real, violence is garbage, y’all!)

🚨 It’s "Look, I’m just like you!" politics.
🚨 It’s "Maybe if we act really normal, they’ll let us stay" politics.
🚨 It’s "Let's tuck in our queerness just enough to make it palatable" politics.

It’s not liberation. It’s appeasement. And if there’s one thing we know from queer history, it’s that appeasement never fucking works.

🧠 REFRAME: EQ AUDIT OF THIS WET-NOODLE ARGUMENT

Now, let’s assess McMullen’s “strategy” through Emotional Intelligence.

Enhance Emotional Literacy – Does he understand what’s really happening?

Score: 3/10

He sees that the community is hurting but completely misdiagnoses why. The pain isn’t from “branding issues” — it’s from systemic, state-sponsored attacks.

EQ Lesson: If you don’t name the real issue, you can’t fix it. And McMullen? He’s naming the wrong damn thing.

Recognize Patterns – Has he noticed the real cycle here?

Score: 2/10

Queer history 101:
🚨 Every time we make progress, there’s backlash.
🚨 Every time there’s backlash, people like McMullen pop up to say, "Maybe we’re pushing too hard? *snarf snarf*"
🚨 And every time, the answer is: No. We’re pushing exactly as hard as we need to.

EQ Lesson: Stop acting like assimilation is the solution when the pattern shows us otherwise.

Apply Consequential Thinking – Did he think this through?

Score: 1/10

What happens if we take his advice and “rebrand” as Queer Americans?
❌ We erase the diversity of our community.
❌ We let bigots set the terms of our existence.
❌ We waste energy on PR instead of fighting for policy.

EQ Lesson: The consequence of playing nice for bigots? They just demand more silence.

Navigate Emotions – Did he manage his response to fear well?

Score: 4/10

McMullen is clearly responding to fear. But instead of using that fear to drive action, he’s letting it shrink his vision.

EQ Lesson: Fear is valid, but leading with fear instead of courage never gets us anywhere.

Engage Intrinsic Motivation – Is he staying true to queer liberation?

Score: 2/10

Intrinsic motivation means standing in your truth, not chasing external approval. But McMullen’s whole strategy is about pleasing the oppressor.

EQ Lesson: If your strategy requires you to water yourself down for approval, it’s not liberation. It’s begging for scraps. I’m not interested in sitting at that table.

Exercise Optimism – Does he believe in real progress?

Score: 3/10

Optimism isn’t pretending things aren’t bad. It’s believing we have the power to change them.

McMullen? He’s playing defense instead of fighting forward.

EQ Lesson: We don’t need a PR campaign. We need political action, mutual aid, and community strength.

Increase Empathy – Does he consider the impact on all queer people?

Score: 3/10

By flattening all queer identities into one watered-down label that makes our oppressors “more comfortable”, he’s ignoring the unique struggles of Black, Indigenous, trans, disabled, and other marginalized queer people.*

ALSO – this motherfucker is hella appropriating the term queer and watering it dooooown. I don’t drink well, queen! You wouldn’t know queer if it backhanded you while wearing a leather harness over a vintage Vivienne Westwood corset, vogueing to a ballroom remix of Beyoncé’s “PURE/HONEY,” and reading you for filth at a Sunday drag brunch with a bottomless mimosa in one hand and a well-worn copy of Audre Lorde’s Sister Outsider in the other.

Try again, Jeffrey. 🔥

EQ Lesson: If your solution erases the most vulnerable, it’s not a solution. It’s just another version of exclusion.

Pursue a Noble Goal – Does this serve real justice?

Score: 2/10

A noble goal moves the community forward. This? This is moving backward under the illusion of progress.

EQ Lesson: True leadership doesn’t ask people to be smaller. It asks them to rise to the challenge.

🔥 FINAL EQ SCORE: - Bullshit/10 – HIGH RESPECTABILITY, LOW LIBERATION

This entire article is a masterclass in low-EQ, high-assimilation thinking.

🚨 It doesn’t name the real problem.
🚨 It doesn’t recognize historical patterns.
🚨 It prioritizes external approval over community power.

And worst of all? It asks queer people to make ourselves smaller in the face of oppression.

🔥 RADIATE: WE’RE NOT HERE TO MAKE BIGOTS COMFORTABLE.

Queer history wasn’t built on asking for permission. It was built on:
💥 Defiance.
💥 Courage.
💥 Radical, audacious fucking LOVE.

We don’t win by playing nice for people who want us erased.
We don’t win by changing our names to make ourselves more “relatable.”

We win by standing unapologetically in who we are.

If that makes bigots uncomfortable? Good.

Because we were never meant to be comfortable for them. 🔥