EQ Audit #1
RANT
Recently I received two messages about the way things are going in politics here in the US of A.
One message felt very supportive. I felt seen. I felt like we were working together to try and weather this shit-storm.
The other message…well, let’s just say it’s why I’m here ranting. It was suggested that I should be “apolitical” in the face of this hateful government. Soooo I said a few things in response and kept it on the up-and-up. I said:
Thank you for your thoughtful message about balancing our apolitical stance with the principles we champion. I can tell you put care into addressing a very tricky line, and I appreciate the acknowledgment of how political dynamics can sometimes intersect with our work.
I wanted to share how this message landed with me personally, because it stirred some emotions that I feel are important to voice.
As a queer and gender-expansive person, recent actions from the government have invalidated my identity in ways that are deeply painful and personal. My husband, a trans man, carried and birthed our baby, and we left Georgia to find a safer place to raise our family. It’s been a journey to find a community where we feel safe and connected, and (redacted) has been that for me — a space where I could belong, thrive, and contribute to something that aligned so deeply with my values.
That’s why this message hit me hard. It feels like a reminder that my existence and family are seen as “political,” even in spaces that champion equity, empathy, and inclusion. While I understand the intent of maintaining an apolitical stance in our official forums, it’s difficult when the very principles we advocate for — equity, empathy, and belonging — are being turned into targets in the political landscape.
So I’m going to use my own space to process my feelings on this. I’m going to RANT (which is actually tame now compared to when I first saw the message and thought “RAAAAAAWRRRRR BURN IT ALL DOWN!!!”), REFRAME in a series of EQ Audits, and then RADIATE by focusing on my noble goal.
Keep reading and let’s process this steaming pile of shit we call home, shall we?
REFRAME
Welcome to my new series, The EQ Audit!
Instead of being down and pissed and (insert another emotion) and (BOOM more!) and (take that - I have more feelings!)…
I’m gonna break down real-world actions and statements to see how they stack up against the 8 competencies of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) from the Six Seconds model of EQ. Think of it as an EQ gut check: does this show self-awareness, empathy, and good decision-making—or is it just a hot mess?
Each post will rate behaviors on a scale from 1-10 (1 = EQ is in the toilet, 10 = peak EQ vibes) and explain why.
For me, EQ is about more than just understanding feelings—it’s about living my noble goal: Spark AUDACIOUS Love. That means creating connection, building trust, and inspiring courage in the way we treat ourselves and others.
So, let’s dive into the first ever EQ AUDIT!
First up: Senator Tommy Tuberville’s statement on X (formerly Twitter) that “these ‘trans children’ should live in fear of their parents.”
How does this measure up across the 8 EQ competencies of Six Seconds?
1. Enhance Emotional Literacy
Did he understand emotions—his own or others’?
Rating: 2
This statement seems driven by unchecked emotions like fear or anger. It shows zero awareness (or more frighteningly, total awareness but zero give-a-shitness) of the harm it could cause trans kids and their families.
2. Recognize Patterns
Is this part of a predictable behavior loop?
Rating: 2
This fits a well-established pattern of inflammatory and divisive rhetoric. It feels habitual, not reflective.
3. Apply Consequential Thinking
Did he consider the impact of his words?
Rating: 2
Here’s the kicker: he probably considered this statement's impact and acted anyway. That’s worse. Knowing it could spark fear, hurt kids, and deepen division—and choosing to say it regardless—is a pretty big ouch.
4. Navigate Emotions
Did he manage his emotions or let them take the wheel?
Rating: 1
This is what happens when emotions drive unchecked—no filter, no foresight.
5. Engage Intrinsic Motivation
Is this aligned with a meaningful purpose?
Rating: 3
He might believe he’s standing up for his values, but nothing is uplifting or uniting about this comment. It divides instead of connecting.
6. Exercise Optimism
Is there hope or positivity here?
Rating: 1
Nope. This is all fear and negativity, with no attempt at constructive solutions.
7. Increase Empathy
Did he consider the feelings of others?
Rating: 1
Empathy isn’t just missing—it’s not even in the conversation. The statement disregards the lived experiences and struggles of trans kids and their families. This is the ANTITHESIS of empathy.
8. Pursue a Noble Goal
Does this serve a purpose to make the world better?
Rating: 1
Noble goals lift people up. This? It tears them down. It’s the opposite of Sparking AUDACIOUS Love—this sparks fear and division instead.
Final EQ Score: 1.75
This one’s a fail. It’s a textbook example of what happens when emotions go unchecked, empathy is ignored, and consequences don’t even cross the radar—or worse, are considered and dismissed.
Emotional Intelligence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about using our words and actions to connect, inspire, and build trust. For me, it’s about choosing love over fear, connection over division, and courage over comfort. This statement? It’s a reminder of how far we have to go.
RADIATE
Alright, so we’ve ranted. We’ve reframed. Now it’s time to radiate.
What does that mean here? It’s about taking all this fire—this anger, this hurt, this relentless need for change—and using it to Spark AUDACIOUS Love. Because even in the face of division, ignorance, and outright cruelty, we can choose empathy and purpose.
Radiating isn’t about pretending everything is okay—it’s about standing in the mess and shining anyway. It’s about taking my noble goal and making it tangible: connecting with others, building trust, and inspiring courage when it feels like the world is doing everything to crush it.
So here’s how I radiate:
I show up. I use my voice, my platform, my work to create spaces where people feel seen, valued, and heard.
I amplify. I highlight the stories and perspectives of those who are being silenced, so they know they’re not alone.
I build. I work to create systems and communities that reflect the radical love and equity I want for my family—and for everyone.
To radiate is to give yourself fully to the work of transformation, even when it’s uncomfortable or hard. It’s the belief that love is bigger than fear and the commitment to embody that belief in action.
And so, we carry on—not because it’s easy, but because it matters.
What will you radiate today? Let me know—I’d love to hear how you’re Sparking AUDACIOUS Love in your corner of the world. Let’s do this, together.
And if you haven’t heard it yet today, you’re about to hear it now… I love you.